This is an essay that originally appeared on my instagram, @grownassfandom! I’ve added a little to it too!
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Why does everyone want to marry Yoongi? “Yoongi, marry me” is a joke, but it’s interesting that it’s not really a joke the other members get very often. I have a theory about why.
There’s this thing people say — lesbians love Suga, but it’s not just lesbians. It’s everyone. There’s this thing about none of Suga biases being straight, but it’s more of how exists for people who aren’t straight - non-violent and non-toxic masculinity that maintains the good parts of masculinity while also feeling safe. This isn’t just for queer people, but that presence can be especially healing for queer folks who often feel victimized by mainstream masculinity. He’s what you want a man to be if we did not socialize men with all the things that make them so dangerous. He’s confident in a way that you don’t traditionally see in the alpha masculine, while appearing to have emotional intelligence and being a great communicator. This is something that mainstream media doesn’t really allow men to have.
For straight women (and honestly everyone) it’s about the swagger and the confidence. It’s also that Yoongi presents as someone who makes space for people to be themselves. He’s got a strong switch energy which is especially seductive to the girl bosses who have learned that men who are confident will automatically resent them for being themselves. We call upon the energy when we are chasing the bag and chasing our dreams because we know he wants us to! He would be proud of us for doing it and not offended or threatened by our success or our strength. He has this enticing duality — the turnoff and the turn on — that feels more seductive than explosive or dangerous.
While Jungkook presents the escape and the fantasy, Yoongi represents a comforting fantasy. Suga helps you work shit out. He’s an engine for self-discovery and introspection because, through his music and the way he communicates, he exposes his own inner demons. Yoongi shares no more than the average idol, but he says a lot through his music. When you combine this level of vulnerability with the Kpop machine, this supernatural bond gets created. People who love him love him deeply in a way that feels almost painful because he feels real and your life with him feels so real. It’s torture, but that’s an essay for another time. Yoongi feels like a man who could be in your life in the most idealized version of your life and he’s fine too.
Besides all of that, Yoongi is very domestic. He cooks, he cleans, and takes care of his members. I had a revelation a few months ago about how Suga is really the one for people who have issues with their fathers and not Namjoon. While Namjoon’s energy has never presented as particularly paternal, Yoongi’s grandpa energy, quiet encouragement, and emotional intelligence give dream dad energy. And you know what they say about people dating their fathers, right?
All I’m saying is that it makes sense.
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I'm a new army and it is the version of this essay on Instagram that tipped me into subscribing. I enjoy all of your reactions and analysis but especially your insights about what attracts us to different members. A married, het white woman, I'm platonically an OT7 but sexually a Yoongi bias and I platonically ship SOPE.
You are so right about Yoongi's persona being masculine without toxicity, quietly caring, someone who will work shit out with you, get shit done with you, who is also goofy and fun sometimes. I also liked your point on Insta that he seems like a partner who would definitely take care of you first before himself when sexing. I ship SOPE in part because Hobi's persona brings that complementary energy while also being caring, nurturing, and damn serious when it comes to business.
The older I get, the sexier plain old competence is--at work, at life, and in relationships. :)