No-Bummer Monday: Beyoncé don't give a fuck
life changingggggg
I went to the Beyoncé tour last Monday and I haven’t even tried writing about it yet. Where would I even begin? How do you talk about the best concert you’ve ever been to in your life and the most next-level experience imaginable? YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY.
It was her birthday too, so it was an ELECTRIC experience. It took me over a week to recover. I was so overwhelmed.
Anyway, I was thinking about Beyonce when I tripped and fell onto people-pleaser TikTok. There’s a huge discussion happening around how people-pleasing is low-key manipulation. I think there’s a lot of nuances to that take, but honestly, there’s something to it.
When you are trying to please other people first, you are controlling how people see you and not allowing them to know and respond to the real you. You aren’t allowing people to meet your actual needs and be there for you.
I swear this qualifies as a no-bummer. Let me cook.
I like a lot of things about Beyoncé, but what I love most is that she puts her interests and creativity first. She only sets out to make something SHE likes and then people’s feelings about it aren’t her business. So much of the awe and amazement comes from the fact she’s just doing her.
Yeah, people want visuals but she will not give them until she WANTS to and until she’s ready.
She does her show how SHE wants and the girls who get it, get it.
Creating in people-pleaser mode just makes you resentful and insecure, and has you training people to treat you in ways that you don’t want to be treated.
It’s also so much harder to feel good about what you’re doing if your feelings about it rely on how other people see it.
This also came to mind when I was listening to a lot of opinions on Tae’s new album and the entire approach. Tae could have gone in a lot of different directions, and ultimately he created something that he liked. I respect that.
I think that’s also why I approach them both with no expectations or ideas of what I’m hoping for. I’ve been trained to just let the experience wash over me.
No good work gets created in people-pleasing mode. Gotta please yourself first.
I’ve never been into Olivia Rodrigo, but her new album feels like the summer of 2004. It’s so romantic comedy-coded. I’ve been listening to it non-stop. “Get Him Back” might be SOTY. IDK!
This video reminds me so much of high school:
I’M SURE I’VE SEEN MUCH HOTTER MEN BUT I CAN’T REMEMBER WHEN:
I enjoy the Tae project, especially “For Us” which is THE SONG. I love, love, love it.
Namjoon’s birthday is tomorrow here but why not celebrate a little early?
Have a great week,
Shenee
As a recovering people pleaser I can attest, it never works out! Here’s to being more like Beyoncé 🙌🏽🙏🏽
I remember watching the making the video for B's second solo release and how she practiced a backwards somersaults like 20 times in a row so that the next day she could do it well without having to do a lot of retakes. I know you might not like this, but that behavior is a lot more like JK practicing saying "tangled" 20 times and acting on a new vision for his brand despite critics saying they don't want him to drink or curse or show nipple than V who has nothing to rebel against because he's universally praised and accepted as he is, accepted the concept and songs given to him, and isn't trying anything new vocally.